Speechless
by oldmoviewatcher
Summary: Ziva is left in her doorway to mull over a few choice words left to her by a one Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo
1. Disturbing the Peace

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. If I did, Cote would get her money and stay! Anyway, I give you ****_Speechless_****.**

Hair in a braid, wearing skinny jeans and an old NCIS shirt, Ziva David packs the last of her kitchen ware and places the box on a counter. Tucking back a loose strand of hair, the woman walks to her fridge and grabs a cold bottle of water before settling herself on her couch, the last moveable object in her apartment and opening "Mansfield Park" to the page she left off at. The woman continues to read up to Fanny going to stay with her family who sent her to live with her aunt and uncle when Ziva is interrupted by a knock on her door. Confused, Ziva debates on grabbing a steak knife from the box in her kitchen. Remembering she has killed with much less, the woman looks through her peep hole. Seeing Tony on the other side of the door, the woman is doubly confused. Especially, when she opens the door to her former partner's somber face.  
"Are you okay?" She questions a she lets her friend inside. He walks in and looks at her couch.  
"You a Jane Austen fan?" He asks smiling. Ziva rolls her eyes with a smirk.  
"Are you a James Bond fan?" She retorts. Tony puts his hand to his heart.  
"Touché, Miss David." He answers. "We missed you at work today."  
"You just finish a case?" She implores.  
"Yep. Came by to see if you needed help." He states. The Italian American's words are met with silence.  
"The whole team is here if you need help this weekend moving." He adds.  
"Thanks, Tony. Tell the team I say thank- you too." She says walking toward her kitchen.  
"Do you want a water?" She asks him.  
"No, I should leave. I just wanted to see you." He says reluctantly. Ziva nods as she walks with him to her door. He squeezes her hand once she opens the door before embracing her and whispering, "At lo levad, Ziva. Ani ohev otach." He kisses her head once before walking away leaving a speechless Ziva to stare after him.

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	2. Interrogating the Suspect

**Yep, another chapter! I couldn't help myself!**

When she cannot see him anymore, the woman walks back inside. Her phone lies on the floor, but she decides she should wait to text him. Instead, she returns to her book and trudges through the lives of the Price family. She realizes a few hours later she has a text from Abby about moving over the weekend. The woman responds before picking her book back up, but is unable to keep her mind on the Price family cottage. Instead, the exotic woman grabs a pair of shoes, puts them on, and leaves her apartment.

Parking her car at the more upscale apartment building, Ziva exits the vehicle and heads for the elevator. Thankfully, no one is in the hall. Her determined walk is enough to scare a ruthless dictator.

"Why?" She asks once Tony opens his front door. The man is confused a moment before smiling and delivering his answer.

"I told you. I can't live without you." Tony states honestly.

"But-" Ziva is only able to respond when her friend motions her inside.

"I am not who you need." She continues once the man shuts his door.

"Why?" Tony challenges.

"I am too flawed." She answers softly, unable to look at her friend. No explanation is needed for her answer, they both know what she is referring to. Her life is far from perfect, but so is his.

"Your flaws make you who you are, Zi." Tony says strong enough for his friend to look at him.

"Cold." She adds disdainfully.

"Strong." He corrects. "I would have broken down a long time ago if I had had your life. You chose to overcome all of your obstacles and make a new life for yourself. That is strength, Ziva, not coldness."

His best friend cannot speak. She is too stunned by his exclamation.

"Everyone I _love _dies." She caustically whispers.

"I'm willing to take that risk." Tony answers cheekily. Ziva continues to stare at her friend unable to produce a new excuse. Instead she answers, "I snore."

"At least you admit it." He jokes. She lightly hits him.

"I can't do this, Tony. I'm leaving. You're where you want to be, but I have _so _much to think about. Tony, I _resigned _and chose not to come back."

"Are you mad about that?" He asks as he leads her to his couch.

"I do not know. But, I cannot stay near you."

"Why? What is so _bad _that you can't stay here?"

"The memories! Tony, you and I played a dance for years, twirling around and around. I _liked _those years, but when you kissed me in the woods, the dance stopped. I cannot keep waiting for the right song to come along and resume our relationship."

"I said I loved you." He states a if his words are enough to penetrate his stubborn friend's mind.

"Yes, with a hug and a whisper." She says heatedly. "Tell me to my face. I want to know if you feel the same as I do about you." Ziva exclames. Tony stares straight in her eyes, takes her hands in his, and seriously says, "Ziva David, I love you and have ever since you told me to 'Be a man'. You are my soulmate."

"That is all I needed to know." The woman answers stoically before opening the door with a graceful forcefulness and storming down the hall as a single tear escapes her eyes. Speechless, Tony stands at his doorway unable to fathom what emotions have just chosen to cross his ninja's mind

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	3. Confessing the Crime

**Sorry :S Really, I am. I've been ideas in my head and wrestling with my mind to figure out if this story should soley stay Tony and Ziva as the only playing characters. I will inform you, it has not. The turn of events in my writing have led to other characters making an appearance. Enjoy!**

Ziva can feel the stare of her partner's eyes as she leaves his floor, but her mind is too cloudy to register anything other than fear. Exiting the building, the former NCIS agent enters her car and drives. Not until half an hour later does she realize whose home she is at. Sighing, the woman, her hair now in a messy braid, exits her car and heads toward the front door of her former boss's home. Knowing the entrance is unlocked, the former assassin simply walks in and heads to a familiar room.

As she enters the saw dust covered room, Ziva can clearly hear not only the echo of her running shoes, but also the halt of scraping sandpaper on the wooden stairs as she descends the staircase. Halfway down, she is met by a pair of wise, fatherly, piercing blue eyes. Stopping in the middle of the staircase, the woman stares at her surrogate father and waits for a moment until he says, "What happened Ziver?"

Another tear streaming down her face, Ziva takes a breath as she says, "Tony told me he loved me."

The only response she gains from the announcement is a smirk and a mumble.

"What did you do?" Gibbs replies once he looks back at his surrogate daughter.

"I left." Ziva softly answers. With a nod of his head, the silver haired man gestures for the woman to come to him. In a rare act of emotion, the man hugs the former agent to him. Once he kisses her on the forehead, he tells her, "Talk to him."

Ziva's eyes shoot up to Gibbs' in horror. There is no way she can face her former partner. The man is probably wallowing in some fashion and her calling could only make his problems worse. As she opens her mouth to respond a glare from Gibbs silences her.

"I'm not saying now. But you two need to figure out what's going on between you two. I'm not going to be the middle man to this." He states firmly. Nodding, Ziva gives her thanks and slowly ascends the staircase leaving a speechless Gibbs to wonder why his agents have finally decided to build a deeper relationship _now_.

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	4. Examining the Evidence

**Yay, next chapter!**

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Over the next three days, Ziva picks up her phone at least a dozen times a day to call her former partner. Each time however, the woman finds a reason to put her phone down. Now, Ziva is putting boxes in the back of her car as well as a U- haul with the help of Abby and McGee. Once the last box is loaded, Abby asks why Tony never came to help. Ziva gives her friend a dismissive answer before leaving to make sure she has not left anything in her apartment. McGee and Abby akwardly stand near the vehicles until McGee says, "Tony acted the same way when I called and asked if he was coming today." Mulling over his statement, Abby suggests they may have had a fight. The man stares at his friend quizzically for a moment until he remembers he has no chance of fully understanding the mind of Abby Suito.

"Think about it." Abby responds once she sees the look on her friend's face. "Didn't you say to me on the ride over that Tony's been upset the last couple days at work and when you asked if he'd talked to Ziva he grumbled a response?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean something happened." He states. Abby shakes her head.

"Something happened. Tony wouldn't bail on a friend like that." Abby retorts as her friend walks out of the building. Coming toward them, the Goth cranes her neck to see what is inside box Ziva carries. The brunette simply smiles at her friend's inquisitive attitude.

"It's just a few things I kept from NCIS." The olive toned woman states as she gently slides her hand across the top of the box before setting the object in the passenger seat of her car.

"You want us to follow?" McGee asks from his perch by the U- haul. The woman smiles and gives her consent as she rounds the front of her car and stands by the driver's side door.

"Gibbs said he'll meet us there." Abby adds as she gives her friend a hug.

"Abby, I am moving across town, not the country." Ziva states once her friend releases her.

"That's still too far. So, I'm hugging you as much as I can until I start back to work." Abby determinedly responds. With a short laugh and a smile, Ziva complies before getting in her car to drive to her new home.

At a gas station, the dark haired woman stops for gas and gives her new address to her friends so they can drive ahead of her. Left alone, Ziva revels in her solitude as she tries to piece together the shards of glass her relationship with her best friend had become. At one time, she would have rejoiced at Tony telling her he loved her. But, Tony has always had terrible timing. His telling her love he loved her is no exception. Sighing, Ziva puts the nozzle of the gas dispenser back in its cradle. As she pulls onto the road, the woman simply tells herself that her life will get better from here.

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	5. Witnessing a Standoff

**Sorry it's been so late you guys. **

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As she drives down the road, Ziva sees a car go by and for a second thinks she sees Tony. Shaking her head, the woman chastises herself for not calling the man three days ago. As she drives, Tony finds himself sitting outside his boss's door. Three days ago, he had planned to help Ziva but now he simply planned to win her back. About to open the man's door, Tony is shocked to find Gibbs open the barrier instead.

"What 're ya doin' here DiNozzo?" The silver haired man asks as he walks past his agent.

"I need to ask you something." The younger man responds as he follows Gibbs toward the black vehicle in the driveway.

"Ask me in the car." Gibbs responds as he opens the driver's side door.

"What about my—" Tony stops as his boss replies, "Leave it here."

Alert to the older man's actions, Tony quickly opens the passenger side door and slides on to the seat.

"You gonna talk?" Gibbs questions once he is on the road. Taking a breath, Tony cautiously says, "I told Ziva I love her, Boss. She hasn't spoken to me since."

The younger man waits for a reply from his mentor. A sly grin crosses Gibbs' face as he waits for his agent to finish his rant. Knowing he should continue, Tony supplies, "I don't know what to do."

The men sit in silence a moment as Gibbs looks at the directions Ziva has given him. Taking a sharp turn onto another road, Gibbs breaks the silence by ordering his agent to talk to the woman. Tony opens his mouth to form a rebuttal, but soon decides to quit talking. He has no idea how Gibbs is taking the news he just told him, but the man really needs answers. As if reading Tony's mind, Gibbs states with more force, "Talk to her."

"Boss—"

"I don't care DiNozzo. You two need to fix this so _Ziva _can move on and _you _can continue to work."

Surprised by his boss's reaction Tony internalizes his answer as he glances out the window of the black car. He is not sure if his mind is playing tricks on him, but he is pretty sure he sees Ziva pull out of a gas station. Shaking his head, the man drums his fingers on the arm rest content to mull over his situation. Ten minutes later Tony is brought from his thoughts when Gibbs pulls up to Ziva's new residence. When the younger man gets out of the vehicle, Abby is the first person to give him a hug. He and McGee exchange head nods simply because Abby hands him a box and tells him to take the container inside. When he walks out five minutes later, Tony stops. In front of him is his dark haired, Israeli- American, ninja, former partner, almost lover friend. When she turns toward him, their worlds stop and everyone is speechless wondering what will happen next.

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	6. Arguing the Case

**Wow, lots of responses there. I should leave cliffhangers in more often. (hint, hint, wink, wink).**

**Enjoy!**

"Tony." Ziva half whispers once she finally admits who is in front of her.

"Hey, Zi. Thought I could help." The man answers with a slight grin. The brunette raises an eyebrow curious of his real motive, but the man says nothing. With the pair having a heated staring contest that rivals the one in the bullpen years earlier, Gibbs simply moves to the back of the woman's car and begins the next installment of articles that need moving. With one look from the older man, Abby and McGee follow suit.

"Why are you really here?" The brunette questions her former partner as she grabs a box from her back seat.

"Didn't have a choice." He answers. Confused, Ziva dismisses his comment by walking past the man.

"Seriously Zi. It's kinda hard to get out of a moving car when Gibbs drives." The man states grabbing a different box from the car. Ziva scoffs at the comment as the two former partners continue their bickering unaware of the other helpers walking to and from the Uhaul and the cars.

"It's been three days, Zi. I can't _not _have your answer." Tony states following the woman inside her new home.

"You spent three months without a word from me two years ago. Besides, I gave you my answer." Ziva replies placing her box on the floor knowing her words probably sting him as much as they sting her.

"Yeah, then you walked away." He adds setting his box down on a table beside him. The man and woman stay silent for a moment neither wanting to say a word. Ziva, too hurt by her past actions, keeps her back turned to the man. As much as she has let him in in the past, she has no intention of letting him into the particular moment she has found herself in. Behind her, Tony practically braces himself for the on slaught of emotion his ninja will bear. No matter what the circumstance, Ziva is either vexed or full of sorrow.

At the moment they find themselves in, Tony is not sure which of Ziva's emotions will win.

Unknown to him, Ziva _has _let an emotion win. Sadly, the only person who can comfort her is the one person she is angry at. Deciding to face the rest of the team, Ziva puts on a brave face and walks back outside. Deciding to cool down, Tony turns to walk toward another room that has about three boxes inside. Opening boxes should calm him down. At least he can use his pocket knife on tape to release some form of anger. As he walks away, Tony bumps the box on the table with his hand letting the various contents fall out. Sighing, the man picks up the box's various objects until one picture in particular catches his eye. A minute later, McGee walks in with a box completely speechless as Tony rushes past him.

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	7. Instigating a Rendeveaux

**Sorry for the wait. I seriously couldn't figure what had enough meaning to Tony and Ziva that he would react the way he did. Thankfully, with **_**Whiskey Tango Foxtrot**_** and the help of my roommate, my writer's block is gone!**

**Enjoy!**

His head spinning, Tony has no idea why or how Ziva has come into possession of the wedding bands he and Ziva used undercover, but as he walks up to her and splutters some sort of intelligible words to her, she simply smiles.

"Tony, let's not have this conversation here." Ziva murmurs as she brings her left hand from underneath the box she is holding and places it on the man's forearm.

"You kept this though? Why?" He questions wishing he were the only one at Ziva's new home. The woman places the hand that rests on his forearm on the man's cheek, her thumb gently stroking his cheekbone.

"I will answer soon." She answers as a plea for the man to stay with her. Thankfully, three hours and a movie and pizza later, Tony is finally left alone with his ninja. His hand playing with her hair as they sit on her couch, Tony prompts, "You were gonna tell me."

Ziva smiles against his touch as she looks into his eyes and says, "I needed a piece of you. Though we were not technically married it started the bond we have."

"You've got me here, Zi." He whispers. Ziva pulls away a little from his embrace, wishing she did not have to say the words she needs to say.

"We cannot stay together forever." She mutters as her eyes water.

"Yes, we can." He insists taking her hand in his.

"No, Tony. I have things you could never deal with." Ziva answers truthfully. Her past is a mystery to everyone, which she relishes constantly. Letting someone completely into her past, let alone her present and future terrifies her.

"I can." Tony states bringing the woman away from her thoughts. "You just have to stop pushing away." His friend and possible lover shakes her head unwilling to speak.

"Stay with me. We could make a life together. You, me, Kate—"

"Your fish?" She questions wondering how much the goldfish is involved in the man's life.

"I told her about you." He answers taking her hand. Ziva gives a small laugh and shakes her head.

"Tony, I have loved you since we went undercover, but ever since Eli's death and this summer, I am afraid of keeping you from being happy. You deserve that."

"And you don't?" Tony questions. Ziva sighs as she scoots closer to her friend. Taking his hand this time, she states, "I have been happy, Tony. _You _have done that for me for so many years." She pauses before continuing with words that may ruin her beloved friendship, "I just wonder if my happiness is supposed to be the same as yours."

"My happiness." He repeats trying to comprehend her statement and hoping she is not breaking up with him before they can even start a relationship.

"You have a life. You are an agent. But, I keep having to run." As she stops to gauge his expression, Ziva tightens her grip around the man's hand. He squeezes it back and with a ray of hope starts to tell her _they _could be happy. She could stop running _now_. To his dismay, she shakes her head.

"I will never be done." Ziva answers as she places her hand on his face. Tony takes the hand resting against his skin in his hand. He kisses the palm of her hand before asking, "Could you stop for a night?"

Nodding as tears well in her eyes, Ziva answers with a smile and then a kiss. Shocked, Tony does not hesitate to deepen the contact. What he does next leaves them speechless.

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	8. Arranging a Plea Bargain

**So, I'm in a Tiva depression right now and am trying to make myself feel better by looking at LBD (Lizzie Bennet Diaries) memes. This chapter may or may not be influenced by that. Also, this will be the last chapter. **

**Enjoy!**

"Let's elope." He states emphatically effectively breaking their kiss. Ziva stares at the man as if he is crazy. Eloping had been a conversation from a year ago. She sees no point in bringing the subject up again. Besides, five minutes ago the pair was having a conversation on why they could not stay together. She knows he tends to go from one extreme to another, but this shift is bizarre.

"Tony, we cannot—"

"You're not an agent anymore. Gibbs rules are gone. Zi, we can do this." Tony answers taking his hand in hers.

"Yes, but Tony, I do not know if—"

"You want to marry me?" He finishes, his face looking as if he has been wounded. Ziva puts a hand on his cheek as a silent address for the man to look at her.

"I just got settled here Tony. I do not believe _now _is the best time to jump into a relationship by eloping." Ziva answers patiently as if speaking to a two year old. However, the man in front of her is not a two year old. He is a man in his forties she knows has been hurt way too many times in his life. The man nods. His backtracking did not work. A part of the agent finds the fact he can travel across the country to find the woman he loves without a problem, yet is unable to keep her for long when he has her.

"When?" He questions giving his first statement another shot. To his dismay, Tony is met by his ninja shaking her head. The man nods and starts to stand from the couch when Ziva grabs his left hand. She stares at her once co- worker, almost lover, and still, she hopes, best friend.

"I am not saying never, Tony. I do love you." She states with a small choke in her voice. The man nods wondering how the woman in front of him can cause him so much pain. Minutes later, he is at her door, turning the knob, when Ziva comes to stop him.

"As to your earlier question, Tony. I will elope with you. Once we have figured our problems out, together. I will elope with you." She says to the man she cannot live without. The next few moments that succumb to their lover's quarrel are almost unbearable. Ziva, afraid that Tony will reject her proposal, turns to leave. Quickly, Tony stops her, puts his hands to her face and kisses her. Ziva smiles against the contact and once they part, the Former Israeli Mossad Officer turned NCIS Special Agent turned civilian simply whispers, "Toda."

A smile of his own forms as Tony whispers back, "Prego."

**And now everybody's Speechless, right? Maybe? Am I fishing now? Probably! But, at least I gave a clear resolution to the Tiva question unlike GARY GLASBERG! Sorry, I digress.**

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